Recipe for reality TV

  1. Recap.
  2. Dra­ma.
  3. Con­tes­tants talk­ing to the cam­era.
  4. Dra­ma.
  5. Com­mer­cials.
  6. Repeat 25 as required.
  7. Big, unfore­seen twist.
  8. Vot­ing.
  9. Dra­ma.
  10. Cry­ing.
  11. Cred­its.
  12. Pre­view of next week.
  13. Off-screen: Two real­i­ty-show pro­duc­ers meet up at the bank, but can’t actu­al­ly speak to each oth­er because they’re laugh­ing so hard they’re lucky they can even breathe.

{edit}—I guess I could’ve saved this for a Thurs­day Thir­teen. Is that even a meme any­more?

Really now? The Gyrocaptain?

Tonight, flip­ping through my chan­nels, I came across this list­ing:

Beg pardon?

Cast your mind to The Road War­rior. Who comes imme­di­ate­ly to mind?

I know, I know. It’s these two guys, right?

It must be, because they’re the ones list­ed first. Last billing goes to this unknown actor, Melvin Some­thing-or-oth­er…

What ever became of him, any­ways?

Late to the party

…again.

A friend of mine told me about Car­nivàle when it was orig­i­nal­ly on TV. I don’t get HBO, though, and I wasn’t inter­est­ed in get­ting hooked on episod­ic TV either (which worked out well, aside from a slight Bat­tlestar Galac­ti­ca addic­tion).

But the first sea­son was on sale at Wal*Mart the oth­er month, for like $20, so I said “What the hey” and bought it. Tonight I put the first disc in the play­er.

It’s pret­ty fan­tas­tic; the first episode was well laid out, with a self-con­tained sto­ry and the promise of more to come.

It seems to be a sto­ry of the war between good and evil, in 1934, dur­ing the Dust Bowl years. It’s well-act­ed, well-writ­ten, and the pro­duc­tion val­ues are unim­peach­able. Ronald D. Moore, who pro­duced this series (or at least the episode I watched) went on to “re-imag­ine” Bat­tlestar Galac­ti­ca, my addic­tion to which I’ve already men­tioned.

This series promis­es to be inter­est­ing. Hope­ful­ly I can find the sec­ond (and, I believe, final) sea­son some­where too.

The three most frustrating words in the TV world…

…are to be con­tin­ued.

Watch­ing an episode of Bat­tlestar Galac­ti­ca, my one TV addic­tion, and all the play­ers are in place: The Cylons have arrived, the humans are on the ground, about to be over­run by the ene­my, and in orbit, Galac­ti­ca has six nuclear weapons aimed down at the plan­et.

And the screen goes black and those three lit­tle words appear at the bot­tom of the screen.

Gaah!

Comedy gold

Here’s one more rea­son that I love Cor­ner Gas:

Hank, think­ing he’s psy­chic*, tries to explain the dis­turb­ing dream he had the night before.

Hank: I just, I woke up with this uneasy feel­ing.
Brent: You ate cot­ton can­dy and pep­per­oni for sup­per last night. It’s a won­der you woke up at all.

____

* Or phy­cic, as the Dog Riv­er Howler spelt it.

IQ test

So we watched Test the Nation last night. I did the test online, and came up with an IQ of 121. Then we did it on TV, and I end­ed up with 137. I think the 121 is prob­a­bly more honest–some of the ques­tions were eas­i­er the sec­ond time around, since I knew, for instance, what they were going to ask for the mem­o­ry ques­tions, and could plan accord­ing­ly.

Inter­est­ed in tak­ing the test? Go to http://www.cbc.ca/testthenation/ and try it out there.

The Oscars

So I watched part of the Oscars last night. I also played a video game dur­ing part of them, with the TV on in the back­ground. While I was play­ing my game, I heard some­one say that the Oscars had “gone green” this year. And I thought, Does that mean every­body walked to the the­atre? Or rode bicy­cles? Or even used pub­lic trans­porta­tion?

Then I thought, Who am I kid­ding?