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Triple threat

I’m kind of a suck­er for cer­tain things:

  1. Images of galax­ies — I love the great whorls of stars that make up the vis­i­ble mass of the Universe
  2. The his­to­ry of sci­ence, espe­cial­ly physics and astronomy
  3. A clever title

So it was prob­a­bly inevitable that I’d check this book out of the library today:

I’ll let you know what I think when I’m done read­ing it.

My Hollow Bean costume

I don’t dress up very often for Hol­low Bean. The last time, I think, I wore dev­il horns and a suit to work, and told every­one I was “Admin­is­tra­tion”.

This year, I got dressed up as a superhero.

First, the secret iden­ti­ty shot:

Mild-man­nered nerd J. Lloyd Dorkstick.

Captain Awesome's secret identity

And now, may I present:

Cap­tain Awesome.

Captain Awesome!

Please note the long johns under the swim­suit, since Cana­di­an super­heroes don’t wear tights.

Now you see why my wife laughed and laughed and laughed, until I put my pants back on.

Shiai ’09

…or, Pat wears a suit.

We held our annu­al judo tour­na­ment (or shi­ai, pro­nounced “shee-eye”) on Sat­ur­day. We had about 60 com­peti­tors show up, in divi­sions from kids’ all the way to seniors (senior being any­one old­er than 16). There were only nine ref­er­ees, which meant that if you came to ref, you were work­ing all day.

This is because judo has three offi­cials on the mat for each match: the ref­er­ee and two cor­ner judges. We had two fight­ing areas run­ning, each one need­ing a min­i­mum of three peo­ple to offi­ci­ate. We wound up with a team of five peo­ple on Mat I and four on Mat II (my mat). What this essen­tial­ly meant, for me, was that I was on the mats for three out of every four bouts.

It was a suc­cess­ful day: the club made some mon­ey, we had a min­i­mum of injured com­peti­tors (the worst injury, by far, was a bro­ken arm), and after­wards we all went out for all-you-can-eat sushi.

Brandon Open shiai
I told you I wore a suit.

Tonight’s fiction

So in the midst of set­ting up a judo tour­na­ment, I took time to go to a writ­ers’ group meeting.

At the last meet­ing, two weeks ago, we gave each oth­er sto­ry prompts. Mine was: “A romance between a worm and a giraffe”. I was all, Thanks.

So here’s what I end­ed up with:

Sor­ry? I did­n’t hear you.
.…

Well, I heard that you said some­thing, but not what you said.

.…

Your voice is a lit­tle soft, that’s all I’m saying.

.…

Fine.

Can you hear me now?

Yes, much bet­ter. Where are you?

You can’t feel me?

No. Well, not right now. You know.

I’m in your ear, just inside the out­er ear. Lis­ten, you said yes­ter­day that we need to talk. What’s up, babe?

Well…

Spill it. Spit it out.

All right. Lis­ten, you know, we’ve been, well, we’ve been…together for a long time now, and I’m just, well, I’m just won­der­ing where you see this going. You know?

Eight days is a “long time”?

Don’t dodge the ques­tion. My mother–

Yeah, I thought she might’ve–

Don’t let’s start. Can we start over?

Sure. We need to talk?

Yes. Where are we going, hon?

Well, I’m enjoy­ing myself, I thought you were enjoy­ing your­self too…

I am, I am. Oh believe me, I am.

Why do you need to put labels on things, then? Are we lovers? Are we goin’ to the chapel, gonna get mar­ried? Why can’t two grown crea­tures just, you know, enjoy themselves?

Well…

Babe, if you need to ask the ques­tion, do you want the answer? Think on that one.

That does­n’t even make any sense.

Exact­ly. Noo­dle on that one for a while.

What­ev­er, lis­ten, I just told my moth­er I’d ask. Because she’s got this need to know. You know?

Are you happy?

I… Yes. Yes I am, love.

Then the hell with your moth­er’s nos­ing. You and me, babe, we’re all we need.

You’re right. You know what? Screw her. Screw her med­dling ways!

That’s the spir­it, babe. Any­thing else?

Well…

Thought that might not be all. What now? Your dad wants to know if I fol­low football?

No. This one’s from me. I kind of, well… I want to know… With worms, it’s so hard to tell sometimes…

What? Tell what? Know what?

Well, are you… Are you male or female?

Hmmm. Tough ques­tion, I kind of got both goin’ on, you know? Worms, like you say. Hard to define. Hard to pin down.

I know. But when you think about your­self, you know, do you think of your­self as male, or female?

What’s it mat­ter? This is your dad ask­ing, isn’t it?

No, no. I just… I just want to know if I’m… well. I want to know if I’m gay or straight.

Oh baby. You and your labels.

For next meet­ing, in anoth­er fort­night, I’m sup­posed to have a com­plet­ed out­line of my WiP, the nov­el Once I was you.

Next time: » Shiai!

A blast from the past

…in more ways than one.

When I was in Uni­ver­si­ty, there was a girl I knew that had a book called 10,000 Dreams Inter­pret­ed*. She point­ed one out to me, and it became my favourite dream ever:

To see a horse in human flesh, descend­ing on a ham­mock through the air, and as it nears your house is meta­mor­phosed into a man, and he approach­es your door and throws some­thing at you which seems to be rub­ber but turns into great bees, denotes mis­car­riage of hopes and use­less endeav­ors to regain lost valu­ables. To see ani­mals in human flesh, sig­ni­fies great advance­ment to the dream­er, and new friends will be made by mod­est wear­ing of well-earned hon­ors. If the human flesh appears dis­eased or freck­led, the mis­car­riage of well-laid plans is denoted.

source

Lit­tle did I know — until today — that that book was first pub­lished in 1901, and that dream’s been haunt­ing peo­ples’ minds ever since then.

____

* Or some­thing to that effect. Come on, this was 15+ years ago. Some­times I have a hard time remem­ber­ing where I put the cord­less phone ten min­utes ago.**

** Until it rings.

The hook

Every time your heart beats, a ghost peels away from you. Invis­i­ble, weight­less, this per­fect copy of the state of your mind ascends, ris­ing into the dark of the eter­nal night, bound for the dis­tant edge of space­time and the unimag­in­able con­flict that will inevitably arise there, some­day, between entropy and hope.

How’s that for a hook? Make you want to read more?

Well, it’s the open­ing for my cur­rent work-in-progress, a long project (prob­a­bly nov­el-length) titled Once I was you. It deals with the even­tu­al fate of the human race, and the fates of sev­er­al oth­er civ­i­liza­tions far more ancient, too.

Inter­est­ed? I am.