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The jetpack theory
Tom Gauld has it right. 100% right, IMHO.
Triple threat
I’m kind of a sucker for certain things:
- Images of galaxies — I love the great whorls of stars that make up the visible mass of the Universe
- The history of science, especially physics and astronomy
- A clever title
So it was probably inevitable that I’d check this book out of the library today:
I’ll let you know what I think when I’m done reading it.
My Hollow Bean costume
I don’t dress up very often for Hollow Bean. The last time, I think, I wore devil horns and a suit to work, and told everyone I was “Administration”.
This year, I got dressed up as a superhero.
First, the secret identity shot:
Mild-mannered nerd J. Lloyd Dorkstick.
And now, may I present:
Captain Awesome.
Please note the long johns under the swimsuit, since Canadian superheroes don’t wear tights.
Now you see why my wife laughed and laughed and laughed, until I put my pants back on.
Shiai ’09
…or, Pat wears a suit.
We held our annual judo tournament (or shiai, pronounced “shee-eye”) on Saturday. We had about 60 competitors show up, in divisions from kids’ all the way to seniors (senior being anyone older than 16). There were only nine referees, which meant that if you came to ref, you were working all day.
This is because judo has three officials on the mat for each match: the referee and two corner judges. We had two fighting areas running, each one needing a minimum of three people to officiate. We wound up with a team of five people on Mat I and four on Mat II (my mat). What this essentially meant, for me, was that I was on the mats for three out of every four bouts.
It was a successful day: the club made some money, we had a minimum of injured competitors (the worst injury, by far, was a broken arm), and afterwards we all went out for all-you-can-eat sushi.
I told you I wore a suit.
Profoundly [something]
…where [something] is either awesome or disturbing.
Awesturbing?
Maybe there just aren’t words yet for what this is. Maybe the cake-maker has transcended the capacity of the English language.
Tonight’s fiction
So in the midst of setting up a judo tournament, I took time to go to a writers’ group meeting.
At the last meeting, two weeks ago, we gave each other story prompts. Mine was: “A romance between a worm and a giraffe”. I was all, Thanks.
So here’s what I ended up with:
Sorry? I didn’t hear you.
.…Well, I heard that you said something, but not what you said.
.…
Your voice is a little soft, that’s all I’m saying.
.…
Fine.
Can you hear me now?
Yes, much better. Where are you?
You can’t feel me?
No. Well, not right now. You know.
I’m in your ear, just inside the outer ear. Listen, you said yesterday that we need to talk. What’s up, babe?
Well…
Spill it. Spit it out.
All right. Listen, you know, we’ve been, well, we’ve been…together for a long time now, and I’m just, well, I’m just wondering where you see this going. You know?
Eight days is a “long time”?
Don’t dodge the question. My mother–
Yeah, I thought she might’ve–
Don’t let’s start. Can we start over?
Sure. We need to talk?
Yes. Where are we going, hon?
Well, I’m enjoying myself, I thought you were enjoying yourself too…
I am, I am. Oh believe me, I am.
Why do you need to put labels on things, then? Are we lovers? Are we goin’ to the chapel, gonna get married? Why can’t two grown creatures just, you know, enjoy themselves?
Well…
Babe, if you need to ask the question, do you want the answer? Think on that one.
That doesn’t even make any sense.
Exactly. Noodle on that one for a while.
Whatever, listen, I just told my mother I’d ask. Because she’s got this need to know. You know?
Are you happy?
I… Yes. Yes I am, love.
Then the hell with your mother’s nosing. You and me, babe, we’re all we need.
You’re right. You know what? Screw her. Screw her meddling ways!
That’s the spirit, babe. Anything else?
Well…
Thought that might not be all. What now? Your dad wants to know if I follow football?
No. This one’s from me. I kind of, well… I want to know… With worms, it’s so hard to tell sometimes…What? Tell what? Know what?
Well, are you… Are you male or female?
Hmmm. Tough question, I kind of got both goin’ on, you know? Worms, like you say. Hard to define. Hard to pin down.
I know. But when you think about yourself, you know, do you think of yourself as male, or female?
What’s it matter? This is your dad asking, isn’t it?
No, no. I just… I just want to know if I’m… well. I want to know if I’m gay or straight.
Oh baby. You and your labels.
For next meeting, in another fortnight, I’m supposed to have a completed outline of my WiP, the novel Once I was you.
Next time: » Shiai!
A blast from the past
…in more ways than one.
When I was in University, there was a girl I knew that had a book called 10,000 Dreams Interpreted*. She pointed one out to me, and it became my favourite dream ever:
To see a horse in human flesh, descending on a hammock through the air, and as it nears your house is metamorphosed into a man, and he approaches your door and throws something at you which seems to be rubber but turns into great bees, denotes miscarriage of hopes and useless endeavors to regain lost valuables. To see animals in human flesh, signifies great advancement to the dreamer, and new friends will be made by modest wearing of well-earned honors. If the human flesh appears diseased or freckled, the miscarriage of well-laid plans is denoted.
– source
Little did I know — until today — that that book was first published in 1901, and that dream’s been haunting peoples’ minds ever since then.
____
* Or something to that effect. Come on, this was 15+ years ago. Sometimes I have a hard time remembering where I put the cordless phone ten minutes ago.**
** Until it rings.
The hook
Every time your heart beats, a ghost peels away from you. Invisible, weightless, this perfect copy of the state of your mind ascends, rising into the dark of the eternal night, bound for the distant edge of spacetime and the unimaginable conflict that will inevitably arise there, someday, between entropy and hope.
How’s that for a hook? Make you want to read more?
Well, it’s the opening for my current work-in-progress, a long project (probably novel-length) titled Once I was you. It deals with the eventual fate of the human race, and the fates of several other civilizations far more ancient, too.
Interested? I am.
Oh how I love living in Canada
About two and a half weeks ago:
Yesterday:
Love it.