13 things I have never read or seen

EDMONTON—Everytime I say “I’ve never seen Big Trouble in Little China” I get an astonished gasp from my brother-in-law or from my friend the Space Cowboy. I tell people I’ve never read Lord of the Rings* or The Hobbit and they give me that sideways look like a quizzical dog, as if to say “How do you live?”

So here’s a list of things I’ve not read or seen. Things that may surprise you. Or may not.

  1. Solaris–neither the book by Stanislaw Lem, nor either of the film versions.
  2. Gladiator, the film by Ridley Scott.
  3. Titanic, the endless movie by James Cameron.
  4. Any of Isaac Asimov’s Foundation novels.
  5. Any of Isaac Asimov’s novels, in fact. I’ve read some of his short fiction, but I just couldn’t get into the novels, no matter how hard I tried.
  6. Deep Impact. I saw the other disaster movie that year, Armageddon, and thought, Meh.
  7. Robert A. Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land, though I know what “grok” means.
  8. Eragon, and I have no intentions of reading it either. Or seeing the movie.
  9. Cowboy Bebop or most anime. For whatever reason, anime doesn’t turn my crank, although some people seem to assume it should.
  10. Seven Samurai or in fact any of Kurosawa’s corpus. This I intend to remedy.
  11. Any Shakespeare short of a couple sonnets and Macbeth. This too needs to be remedied.
  12. Any of the egregious Dune prequels. IMHO, they should’ve just published Frank Herbert’s notes and called it a day.
  13. The Stand mini-series, something which I still hope to see sometime.

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* Not strictly true; I started, but around the middle of the second book, I realized that I was reading a highly-detailed travelogue, where I had been expecting an action epic.

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4 thoughts on “13 things I have never read or seen

  1. At first I was like OH! But you have to! Then I realized, well, not really. I mean- you gave Asimov a shot so that is something. Other than that the only thing would be The Stand, but you do intend to see it, so I’m completely moot.

    My T13 is up

  2. I thought the Foundation Trilogy was boring. Unengaging characters, ho hum premise when you get right down to it.

    Solaris — haven’t read it, but have you ever read any of Lem’s Pirx the Pilot stories? There are a couple of collections available. Neat stuff.

    Stranger in a Strange Land — Heinlein at his preachiest.

    Gladiator — definitely has some fine moments. Not a perfect movie by a long shot, but we liked it.

  3. Eh. Gladiator had the perpetually sad-eyed Russell Crowe in it, and weird scenes where he was floating above the ground. I was underwhelmed. You didn’t miss anything. 🙂

    I thought Deep Impact was more fun than Armageddon, but maybe that’s because I had a teenage girl in the house at the time and the teenage-tru-luv story was a hit here.

    Titanic: the boat sinks. But see above, re: teenage girl. She LURVED Leo. She’s come to her senses, thank goodness and now prefers Johnny Depp like any sensible woman.

    I liked Asimov when I was a teenager, but the only thing I’ve read of his in recent years is The Naked Sun. I still liked it. I’ve got the Foundation trilogy, just don’t remember it at the moment.

    My 12-year-old started reading Eragon, didn’t like it, and said he didn’t want to see the movie. That’s good enough for me. I’ve got a big enough TBR pile and Netflix queue without it.

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